Calling you on your BS is one of my favorite things to do. I’m good at it, I’ve been told. A patient recently thanked me for my internal bullshit detector.
Here’s the thing. You can’t get healthier in life, mind, body, soul, relationship, career or anything else if you continue to bullshit yourself.
How do I know when you are bullshitting yourself?
- You say things like:
I’ve accepted that… (no you haven’t)
I’m really OK with… (no you aren’t)
It would be better if it were different but I am just… (then change and quit the excuses)
- You avoid topics of conversation even though I talk to you week after week. I don’t need to write it down. I remember what you tell me. I’ve noticed that you’ve never given me an opinion on your husband even though we’ve covered every topic under the sun.
- So and so says …xyz… about me. Err.. ugh.. I don’t care what they say about you. What do you say about you? Your mom told you something about yourself that you internalized at 8? Let’s move right through that and on to the next.
- You try and move the conversation to being about me. Yes, I see you too, sneaky little thing. I know this one the best because it’s my personal bullshit myself/avoidance technique. Sometimes I’ll indulge you for a second. But, we aren’t here for me so let’s get back to the topic at hand.
- You say: I don’t know way too often. That turns I don’t know into: I am afraid to say, I am embarrassed, I am ashamed, I think what I am about to say might be stupid. Here’s good news for you, the stupider it is in real life? The easier it is to fix.
THERE IS NO CHANGE WITHOUT AWARENESS.
You won’t be able to override your habits. You won’t stick to your exercise routine. You’ll eat crap and lie about it.
All because you’re too busy bullshitting yourself.
What things have you tried to convince yourself that you’ve accepted?
That kids are noisy? That your husband works too much? That you don’t work in a job you like? That you’re heavier/weaker/less flexible than you want to be?
Say it out loud now: I really truly don’t accept x!
And then make a plan to change it.