Your responses to my questions about burnout have taught me a few things.
It seems that when you run your own business and it’s your ‘baby’, you have a hard time accepting that it could be draining you the way that it is. Because… you love it, right?!?! Often, you left your cushy job to birth this passion based business – so it’s hard to understand that you can be burnt out!
Let me set that straight for you real quick. I love my job. Majorly. I think I do the coolest things that are available on the planet right now. I’ve also burnt out at least twice.
Why? A few reasons:
1. I love my job so much, I want it to be perfect all the time.
2. I have always worked for myself, which means paid vacations do not exist. If I’m not workin’ I’m not getting paid.
3. My job is to take care of people and I take that very seriously. I think about you as I’m falling asleep. I plan questions, homework assignments, breathing exercises, and acupuncture treatments.
4.I have a fear of never being good enough (see #3).
Croatian sunsets from the balcony calmed me while I was writing the foundation for my Burnout book (hopeful release 2019 ;)). The calm that I felt while looking out over the blue Adriatic Sea as I was typing away created space for me to notice that this fear of never being good enough is a huge driving force in my life. On the positive, it motivates me to always improve my work. On the negative, it exhausts me and doesn’t allow me to recognize my accomplishments. A conundrum arises: do I say thank you because, damn, it’s gotten me this far? Or do I dig in and fix it?
The Middle Road is my answer, as per usual. I’ve just spent the past 4 weeks or so working through this. Taking the time to appreciate this driving force for pushing me to create this life that I have is goal number 1. I have had amazing opportunities, taken big risks, and live a life that I couldn’t have even imagined growing up.
In addition, it’s left me with an unhealthy addiction to always push a little bit further than my brain, body, and heart can handle. Like a house guest you love but has overstayed their welcome, it’s time to gently ask this ‘not good enough’ filter to say it’s final goodbyes.
In order to do this, I’ll need to choose a replacement. I already have another filter that says: “Everything Counts”. I usually apply it to exercise because I’d rather exercise for 5 minutes than skip it. Maybe it’s time to start applying it to everything. To give myself the proverbial pat on the back for all the little things I do. To start with gratefulness to myself for everything that I’ve already done and created.
That feels good. I think I’ll start there and see what comes next.
Do you have a filter that needs changing? (Hint: You Do.)
Which one should shift first and what should it turn into?
Can’t wait to hear your answers to this one, I bet they’ll be juicy!