You clicked on this title. You’re here. That means you’re probably worried, on some level, about your behavior. You’ve noticed that your intensity can be a put off for people and to add to that you are often disappointed in other people’s abilities to live up to expectations. You know what you’re doing. All the pieces are right. You’ve done the research, your website is gorgeous, your business is building – but are you alienating everyone in the process?
Here’s the thing. Perfectionists exist (raising hand emoji). That being said, there are some of you out there that are perfectionists x10. If that’s true, you might be, according to Chinese medicine face reading, a Metal Element (don’t know your element: take the quiz here!). Metal people, my Metal people. You are smart. You are naturally beautiful. Your sense of aesthetic is way above average.
You are that chic Parisien gal with the white t-shirt on who looks effortlessly glam.
The problem? People think you’re cold. You aren’t, not on the inside. It’s simply easier for you to separate emotions from facts than it is for the average bear. You simply know the best thing to do and the best way to do it and you really don’t understand why everyone doesn’t see it. And if I’m being really honest, you’re usually right.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret (don’t tell anybody): they don’t see it because they don’t have your brains, your eyes, your construct. It’s literally impossible for the other elements (Wood, Fire, Earth, and Water) to see things the way you do. Earth people tend to enjoy clutter and knick-knacks – I know that made you cringe, you hate knick-knacks. Water people like to think about the why behind things and create new things – boxes, lines, and rules turn them off. Wood people are two steps ahead of you because they just want to do it and get it done – they don’t care about all those careful details that you chose. And Fire people. They literally melt you. You can’t keep up and they can’t slow down. Fire energy wears you down and you know they can’t listen the way you need them to, so you give up, go in the back room, shut the door and silently pull your hair for all the idiots that surround you.
Metal people burn out because they feel if everyone could just understand and see things clearly, the world would be a better place.
So. How do you go about living according to your ideas without alienating everyone in your life?
- Remember that your ideals are exactly that, YOURS. We (the rest of the elements) need you to be yourself and do things the right way so that everything doesn’t fall apart. Maintain your ideals for yourself. Hold yourself to them. Know and understand, deep in your heart and soul, that you are designed this way for the benefit of us all.
After teaching a weekend class in face reading in Poland some years back, a student came up and told me that I just possibly saved her marriage. I looked at her quizzically, like my dog does when I ask if she’s hungry – one ear up, head tilted. And she continued “For over a decade, we’ve been fighting about the ‘right’ way to do things in our house. This weekend, I finally realized that WE ARE BOTH RIGHT! Just, we are only right for ourselves!” She and her husband were both Metal people and just thought differently about a few key things (like how to fold laundry, the direction of toilet paper, how to organize sock drawers and other exciting metal tasks ;)).
When you are truly able to do this, you are able to create MORE SPACE for yourself to be who you are. Simultaneously, you create enough space to let people be who they are – and everyone around you stays happier 🙂
- You are someone who needs space, physical and mental. Me-time is super important to help you manage your emotions and your energy. It’s costly for you to be in a big group of people all the time, even if you aren’t interacting with them. So, make sure you take the time to be alone.
When you truly make quiet me time a priority, you feel more open and more tolerant. You recharge in a way that allows you to do step 1 with ease.
- In the 5 element system, Fire controls Metal which means that adding fire around you will help balance out the strength of your Metal element. Light a candle, put a picture of a crackling fireplace on your computer, eat some slightly spicy food, drink some ginger tea, find a comic that you like and laugh a bit – any of those things will add the Fire element and give you what you need to keep on keeping on.
I absolutely love helping people find balance in life, health, and relationships so they can avoid burnout. One of my favorite tools is face reading – together we pinpoint your special mix of elements and teach you how to balance that in yourself and recognize the basics in other people too. Those two pieces together save SO MUCH EXTRA ENERGY that we usually waste going over situations x1000 in our minds. Know who you are, really deeply know, and the rest is so much easier.
If you need more help than is available in this article, head over to my website and book a call. Together, we’ll figure it out in no time!