I get a lot of questions about meditation. Online and in my office, meditation is one of those topics that just makes people feel uncomfortable – even when it’s something they want to be doing. The general discomfort around the basics of meditation is easy to understand. Is it religious? What does it mean? I’ve read that it’s good for me, but why?

So, just a short bit ago, I did this Facebook live for you on ‘Unweirding Meditation’. The thing is, ultimately, that there are so many practices that fall under the heading of meditation, if you really want to find something that works for you, you will. No matter what race, religion, or creed, there are practices that allow you to achieve a meditative state.

One of my favorites is this: Ho’oponopono. The Hawaiian prayer or meditation that is focused on reconciliation and forgiveness. It is non denominational and can be practiced by anyone.


If you find that other people are often at fault for your problems, do this meditation.


If you are still going over that situation from two years ago and can’t seem to let it go, this meditation is for you.


If you feel you’ve been wronged, hop in right away.


Ho’oponopono has this miraculous ability to show you where your emotional blocks are.


They’ll come up during the practice. Your ego will fight you during this practice. Or, at least, mine does.


Curious yet? Here is the simple system. Don’t get too caught up in the order of the sentences.


Choose a situation that you would like to move through. If this involves another person, you’ll want to picture them in your mind – yes, even if you are angry with them. If it is a solitary situation, you’ll want to picture yourself.


Then repeat as many times as necessary:

Forgive me. I’m sorry. Thank you. I love you.

It’s simple but not easy. If your ego is caught up in a situation, you won’t be able to forgive. You’ll feel your ego, your self righteousness fight back claiming your victimhood. You will try to enhance the separation between you and this person – for you are ‘right’ and they are ‘wrong’.


You’ll hear your own excuses.

[tweet_dis]I notice that when I am unwilling to look at where I may have contributed to a situation, I fight back the hardest. I say “forgive me” and then my head says “for fu&$(%& what?!?!”.

When I find myself up against this, I repeat and repeat and repeat until I find something. My piece. My responsibility. I cannot make you take responsibility for your side, but I can take responsibility for mine.

The other day during this practice, I was really really upset and I couldn’t get past the “Forgive me.” statement. I think of myself as a ‘good person’. I try to treat people fairly. I also have a strong tendency toward judgment and an uncanny need to make myself ‘the smarter one’, even if it means making someone else look foolish. It can come across as rude and brash. It’s not something that I’m proud of, so I often just ignore the fact that it exists.

The situation that I was pondering, I was really hurt by the other party involved. And then it hit me.

“Forgive me for believing that I am better than you, that you can’t manage and that you need help. Forgive me for not believing it you and meeting you where you are instead of where I’d have you be. Forgive me for belittling your problem and your position”

And I cried. The “I’m sorry. Thank You. I love you”. Came easy after that.

That’s when you know you’re done. When it flows easily and feels good – when you can say the words and feel their strength, you are done.

Take three deep breaths with long, exaggerated exhales and congratulate yourself for moving through something today.  

You deserve it.

Forgive me. I’m sorry. Thank you. I love you.

So simple. So hard. So powerful.






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