When we work together, after some time, something magical happens. I know it’s going to happen and it catches me by surprise anyway. It’s the moment that I become like a proud mama as I watch you grow. You start telling me about the week or month you’ve just had and you tell me the story as if you were watching yourself from a distance.
You say things like:
“And then I noticed, I was acting the same way again – so I stopped and asked myself if this is what I wanted and I realized it wasn’t, so I stopped!”
“He was telling me this story that I knew was nonsense and he was totally stuck in victim mode. Usually, I’d try and fix it for him, this time I held back. He’s a big boy, he can handle it”
“I was so f’ing pissed and proud of myself for it! I don’t usually let myself feel like that and it felt good!”
The click happened. You’ve started to become an observer in your own life. In my own life, I use meditation to stay in the observer’s seat. Sometimes, when you’re in the thick of burnout, meditation isn’t a viable option. Sitting still for 5 seconds when you’re feeling tired but wired is an amazingly difficult task. I love small steps and I’ll often suggest you start with 60 seconds of breathing, or 3 minutes of listening to a song – but when even those things are too much, we start by me doing the job that you can’t do for yourself right now.
I observe you, honestly and without judgment, so that you can learn to do the same.
When you take over this function from me, I know that you are ready. You are ready for deeper work and for digging through your shadows. The space that has been created between you and your judgment of yourself has become wide enough for you to become your own neutral observer. You now know how to remove yourself from situations at hand and CHOOSE a reaction instead of being chosen by one.
This is the moment that you start asking yourself “What Would Cait Say?”, you need me less and you rely on yourself more – and what’s better – you learn to trust your own assessments. I wish I could express to you how much I love this moment. It makes my heart soar. It doesn’t always mean that my work is done, but it does mean that what comes next is way easier.
Changing habits and self-talk from the observer’s seat is a breeze. Once you have this space, it’s easy to find the next time you need it and even easier to notice areas that you’d like to be different. You’ve taken on a whole new level of responsibility for yourself which, contrary to previous levels, doesn’t feel like a burden. This kind of responsibility feels like freedom. You choose to act or not. You choose to speak or not. You control your inner environment.
This is the moment that you can really learn to rely on your emotion and intuition as clues. Before this point, your emotions can lead you any old way and you have no idea why you’re on this bucking bull. You see info all over telling you to listen to your emotions – it’s the wrong suggestion. You shouldn’t listen to your emotions, (your emotions are crazy), you should OBSERVE them. I’m sure I’ve made this mistake 1000 times in my writing and teaching. But no more.. No more suggesting you listen to your intuition or emotions until you feel like you’re in the driver’s seat, until you’ve upleveled to the role of observer in your own life.
Can you feel it?
Take a moment to imagine just what that would feel like.
Time. Space. Control. Influence. Decisiveness. Compassion. All from you and to you.
It’s the best feeling in the world.
P.s., Did you read this just KNOWING that you need to become the observer in your life? Did it hit you right in the gut how powerful it would be to feel this way? I thought so… book your call now and get in the Observer’s seat asap. BOOK A ONE HOUR CALL NOW
Not sure if a one hour call will cut it? Check out the longer programs available: Work With Me