Sitting here in this room alone, I think of the sun on my face and the lilac tree that sat beside me earlier. The magic of Rothenburg has struck again. Yesterday, upon arrival, I was caught up in the human energetics of the place and got lost in the talk, the noise, and the superficial connection.
I left that behind today in an effort to see myself. In this year of authenticity, I have been asked many times to SEE myself. The light and the shadow. The good and the bad. Spirituality might tell me that I am all light, but that’s bullshit. We all have areas of darkness that we ignore, dislike or judge (most likely we do all three). The question is: How do we create a space in which it is free to exist without our judgment or interference?
When we are asked to look inside at the ugly bits, many of us shy away. We open phones, turn on the tv, do anything we can to readjust our focus, to leave the darkness in the dark. Choosing to shine a light on darkness means facing your deepest fears, means making amends with those pieces of you that are scary, or embarrassing.
But what we shine a light on, we can transform. It doesn’t need to become something that we enjoy, but it can become something that we accept, recognize, and use as a tool to navigate through the world.
We are given this time to use the resources that we have. ALL the resources that we have.
The ugly bits, they are like a knife in the back, between the spine and the shoulder blade, poking out from the inside. “Pay attention!” it cries as it turns and turns. You are losing this battle by leaking blood from the wounds that you refuse to dress. You are slowly allowing the poison to seep in and slow down your metabolism, attack your thyroid, and feed your frustration.
You must address these places. These places of guilt and blame. These wrongdoings. These wounds. You must find a way to stand upright in your body again, in a place of virtue, worthy of worship. Light the candles. Turn on the lights. A floodlight if you must. The time is now.