There are no words to describe the feelings I have about the work that I do. Well, maybe there are. Expansive. Surprising. Deep. Worthy.

In order to do this well, to be able to mirror my patients in a way that is meaningful for them, I need to stay centered. To be still like like calm water. Let me paint you a picture around how hard that is. We often think of people as self centered, and they are, but not the way they need to be. Centered within one’s self is an amazingly powerful place to be. It allows for connection, reflection, and growth.

I sit, with my knees bent at a 90 degree angle and my hands covering my knees.  My back is straight, my feet are flat and my tongue is rolled into a little curl behind my front teeth. It’s time to meditate. I learned this meditation from a teacher who taught me so many life lessons and I’m glad to have it as my go to.

These are my moments, when I go inside my own body, and understand what is happening internally. The energy slides up my feet and causes pain in places that are blocked. Thoughts circle about where my responsibility lies in certain situations in my life. I understand that if I am in pain, mentally, emotionally, or physically, it is because I have attached ideas to things that I had no business attaching ideas too.

Eastern thought, especially buddhism, says life is suffering. It also says that our thoughts are the cause of that suffering. MotherF%#&$. That means we have responsibility to change it.

It means releasing other people of the responsibility that they should have according to my story (this part can be SO HARD).

This is why I meditate. I forgot for a while and didn’t meditate regularly – I started up again and it all came flooding back. This is why I meditate. Because it creates space between my life and my reactions. Because it gives me and my body a chance to spend time together, to listen in, to reconnect. Because it reminds me of my responsibility and allows me to choose my reactions instead of feeling controlled and dragged around by my emotions.

This is why I meditate, to become the observer. To take a step back, remove myself, and look at my life with just the plain info. No emotional mugginess involved.

Things are what they are. My path forward and the steps I need to take become more clear. I release other people of their ‘jobs’ in my life. I take responsibility for my own wellbeing and recognize that my wellbeing and the energy I send out to people every day is up to me. What other people decide to do does not change that if I am centered.

A bird’s eye view. This is why I meditate.

How about you?


wiseher Cait Donovan on DaoCloud