Some general housekeeping before I get into it today:

  1. I have a challenge for you! Jan 7-18th, I’m opening a 12 day Get Out Of Your Own Way Challenge – I want 100 participants! If you want in, let me know!
  2. Testimonial Tuesdays will be changing to Celebration Tuesdays. Instead of talking about me, I’ll be shouting out patients or clients for their successes. I won’t include names, but I will let the person know personally that it’s for them. They can claim it if they choose.
  3. We have a big move coming up. We are moving to Northern New Jersey pending a visa approval. I’ll be seeing patients through the end of February in Prague – with a possibility of extending into March / April depending on the visa timeline.
  4. I’m creating a new branch of my business that will focus on corporate wellness. I’ll be available for 2, 4, or 8-hour Wellness Workshops in NJ/NYC/Boston starting in June. If you know any HR personnel that I should connect with, please let me know.

Even without all of that, 2019 is a big year for me! I’m coming up on 12 years as a practicing acupuncturist and 2 years running an online business. In those years, my constant pursuit has been personal growth for all of us: me, my patients, and my online clients. You could say that personal growth is my religion. I spend so much time reading and applying knowledge that is passed down to us from the greats – both ancient and contemporary and even after all this time, I’m still obsessed.

That is why, this year, as of Jan 12th, I’m running my first challenge for you. It’s called the Get Out Of Your Own Way Challenge and it’s designed to knock down the barriers between the life you have and the life you want. If there’s anything that I’ve learned for sure over this past decade or so it’s this: most of this shit is happening in your head and in your head only. I’ve already got 16 people signed up and I want 100! I want to help 100 people Get Out Of Their Own Way this January – because we can.

Mastering your mind is really the only key you need.

You will not end suffering. You will not control every emotion that you feel. You will not avoid disappointment or difficulty. Anything that promises you different is a pipe dream and should be flushed away immediately. One of the things that gets my goat most about the world of personal growth is the constant focus on some sort of breakthrough that will make things easier for you for all eternity.

I’ll say this once: It doesn’t get easier. You just get better at handling it. Your ability to handle life is a trait that most people call resilience. I call it bouncebackability. Your ability to bounce back and refocus on the life you want is the ONLY thing that gets you closer to it. Think about it for a second:

How often have you been thrown off track?

How long did it take you to get back on the wagon? How soon were you thrown off again anyway, in spite of motivation, drive, and support?

I spent the past 12 years looking for a way out of this cycle. A way to always ride the right train. A way to end the suffering I cause myself with thoughts of ‘notenoughness’. And I’ve spent 12 years blaming myself for not getting there yet in spite of all the learning I’ve done. Reading, writing, retreats, specialized courses, travel, moving from country to country – I keep coming back to the famous Ram Dass quote: “Where ever you go, there you are”.

I’ve learned all these things, been all these places, participated in healings, retreats, meditations, self cultivations and I failed to notice this message. Everywhere I went, I took my mind / myself with me. I’ve listened to 100’s of people say the same thing, blaming themselves for their lack of willpower, motivation, ability to make a change, even sickness. But blame is useless and gets you nowhere.

It doesn’t matter what happens to you in life. Everyone experiences their own hardships. The only thing that matters is your bouncebackability. That is why we are so inspired when someone who lost their legs finishes a marathon, or a child born with a disability builds an incredibly successful business. We love these stories because they remind us of the truth. It’s not our bodies stopping us. It’s not the people around us. It’s not our lives, or money. It’s our minds. If we are able to focus and refocus, we can accomplish so much more.

If we stop focusing on what is blocking us, on our excuses, we can do more. We will not suffer less, we will suffer differently. Right now, one of the most popular things that people look for online is help with diet and weight loss. We are equating dieting with suffering and we’re right. Dieting does include suffering, you have to fight cravings, cook more, pay more attention. You know what else includes suffering? Waking up and not liking your body every day.

The positive thinking movement would tell you to love your body as is, to accept it, to write gratefulness lists and build up your good feelings about your body.

I have a secret: I’ve never seen that work for anyone. Ever.

If the body that you have in your mind is different that the one you live in, there will be self-judgement and disappointment, i.e., suffering. So the question isn’t how to end the suffering, but which suffering to choose? The suffering of fixing your diet to shift your gut microbiome so that you can easily maintain a different weight or the suffering of the self-talk and self-judgement that you’ve got going on every day? Either way, the struggle is real.

Choose the struggle that makes you feel proud and accomplished.

What’s a struggle that you’d like to fight from a different angle?



wiseher Cait Donovan on DaoCloud