Recently, I had a week where I spent a few hours with two different friends who are in crisis mode. They both apologized to me afterward saying “I know you do this all day, I’m sorry that you’re in working mode with me too”.
And I realized something.
That’s not working mode for me.
I LOVE being in those moments with you. The ugly ones. The tough ones. Because what comes out on the other side is so amazing. It’s literally my favorite place to be.
“Sometimes I go out and hear people talk about irrelevant things and then I tell myself this is why I don’t go out.” ~ Keanu Reeves
1000x yes. I’ve written before about how I am not a big fan of going out to eat in large groups of people (6 people total is already stretching it for me). And this quote and my favorite mode of talking mixed together is the reason why.
I cannot survive bullshit surface conversations.
My intuition has become so fine-tuned over the years that I can FEEL THE TENSION underneath your skin and it makes me want to pull it out so you can relax.
I’m bad at listening to niceties, excuses, and thinly veiled lies.
Those difficult conversations? At least we are finally telling each other the truth. Honesty is refreshing. I was once condemned because a friend thought I should be a nonstop cheerleader in her life. Let’s set something straight. I enjoy nothing more than seeing you happy and successful (whatever that means to you). AND. I am not going to sit by and watch you lie to yourself and not say anything about it. If you’re looking for a friend who is going to support you while you hide behind fear and excuses, I’m not your girl.
Because this is the same for me in the treatment room, on Zoom calls, and with my friends – you should only work with me if you really desire the freedom to actually say the words that you hear in your mind. That is what it feels like to have conversations like this: FREEDOM.
You are free to be nasty, mean, sad, mad, happy, joyous, resentful, irritated, ……….
Why? Because life. And because you can’t change the lifestyle that caused your burnout if you aren’t telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Sometimes, the truth is hidden and you can’t find it. Don’t worry, I’ve got methods for that 😉
If you want to create a life that heals – start with having difficult conversations. Choose someone safe first until you get used to it. I fulfill this role in many lives. And I love it.
When was the last time you had a two-sided frank and real conversation? How did you feel afterward?