As a B-Schooler (someone who’s done Marie Forleo’s famous B School online program), I get newsletters and updates on the regular. Recently, there was an email asking us to submit questions for the call in show and I knew I needed to write in. So, I sat in my parked car and typed out what was on my heart at the moment.
Here’s what I wrote:
I just moved back to the US after 12 years in Europe. I’m having a hard time slowing down enough to enjoy the shift since I’m so determined to get my business moving here. How do I gain some self-patience?
And then, to my surprise a week or two later, I got an email saying that my question had been chosen.
I was so excited to get on that call – but in the end, they never made it to my question, so I didn’t get to talk to Marie. To be fair, I’m the type to answer questions for myself as soon as I ask for help (accepting help isn’t one of my strongest skills) so, I had already chilled quite a bit between the time I wrote the question and the time I got to the email. I sat down to write this to give myself the space to analyze what it was that I did, in the hopes that if you find yourself in a similar scenario – you can try it out too.
The first thing that I knew I needed to do was change my internal speak. I was wondering through my days thinking “I’m so busy, I’m not going to finish in time, I have so much to do.. Over and over.
I needed a new mantra. I need something to repeat to myself over and over again as a reminder to s l o w d o w n. I love traditional mantras, but this time, I knew I needed to add in some humor because #laughteralwayshelps.
The sentence that popped into my mind is one that my father used to say to me when I first started driving and wanted to cruise 80mph down every highway I could get on… “Slow Down Sister Sledge!”
While I know this saying didn’t originate with Neil Donovan, I do know that when I say it in the tone that he says it, it makes me laugh and reminds me to slow the f down. (shout out to Sister Sledge!)
Every time I felt myself repeating the “I’m busy” internal speech, I made an effort to stop myself and replace it with: “Slow down Sister Sledge!”. And guess what – it worked.
The second thing was gifted to me during a facial gua sha class that I did with Britta Plug at Britta Studios in NYC. I don’t know if what she told us is true, but it made sense to me and inspired me to do things a little differently. She said that grooming is a natural part of our self-care, ingrained in us since primate time. Chimps, gorillas, monkeys, they all groom themselves and each other but only in times of peace and safety. As much as peace and safety is a cue that they can groom, grooming is a clue that they are safe. For us, it works much the same, taking the time to groom ourselves reminds us that there is time, that we are safe, that we can breathe.
I’m not a high maintenance type. I’m a quick shower, messy bun, get it done type. But since Britta’s class, I’ve been purposefully taking longer showers, massaging my scalp as I wash my hair, taking the time to wash my face at night (not my normal routine!) and put on night cream with a little gua sha to boot. I’ve been slowing down as I eat and ‘grooming’ my house without rushing. I’ve taken the time to clean things the right way, to breathe as I do it, to be mindful during chores.
And guess what, I already feel better. I’m more here. I’m more present, I’m more ready for my business to grow because I have the time, energy, and attention for it.
The best advice for me when I needed to build more self patience wasn’t asking the world to speed up to where I wanted it to be. It was asking myself to slow down, to remember being in the moment, to enjoy things and allow myself the luxury of self-care. Once my energy calmed down, I wasn’t feeling so impatient anymore… funny that.
Do you have a cue that reminds you to slow down?